We are all beginners and there is only beginners’ meditation. That said, there are some advantages to having years of experience meditating: I no longer judge myself or get frustrated with how busy my mind is when I meditate, in fact I’m grateful for the distracting thoughts.
I am working with two new meditation students who have expressed this week the same frustration every meditator who has started before them experiences. “I just can’t do this, I can’t get my mind to stop thinking.”
The number one myth we come to our meditation practice with is the idea that “doing it right” means experiencing a state of a thoughtless mind. That somehow we’d magically cease normal brain function and…. Well I can’t even imagine what that would be like.
Brains think in the same way that eyes see and ears hear. A healthy brain constantly generates new thoughts, pulling our attention and focus in a million directions every moment. At New Leaf we teach the Four R’s of meditation: We Recognize thinking, we Release a thought by Returning to the breath. The most important R, is the last R. We Repeat this over and over again because our brain is going to generate new thoughts the entire time we sit.
Here are a few tips for dealing with distracting thoughts and a busy mind when you are meditating:
Shift your perspective: I’m grateful for a busy mind when I’m meditating. I don’t go to the gym and work out with no weights. I need some resistance to grow stronger. The distracting thoughts are my resistance training, teaching me to be present to my in-the-moment-experience. Recognizing this opens up the possibility that I could be grateful for the distracting thoughts. This shifting of our perspective, seeing thoughts as an aid to our practice not an irritant, reduces our aversion and discomfort with an ever-distracted mind.
Slow down breathing: One trick I use when I’m noticing a particular inability to stay laser focused on my breath is slowing down my breathing. Under ideal circumstances we teach letting breath happen naturally, without controlling it. But if we need a little help focusing, we can slow down our breathing by 30% or 40%. This intentional control will help us stay more connected to the breath.
Sit for shorter periods of time: If you consistently feel like concentrating on the experience of your breath is out of reach, try meditating for shorter periods of time. A concentration practice like breath awareness meditation takes a lot of effort. If we can’t sustain it over a long period of time, take a few weeks of shortening your practice but increasing your effort. Like training at the gym, we can slowly build up our ability to focus for longer and longer periods of time.
Pause your meditation, and journal: Stuck on a particular thought? Replaying a conversation over and over? Worrying over a major upcoming deadline? Sometimes when we’re meditating, we’re not scattered in our thinking, we’re stuck on a given thought or idea. When this is the case, pausing our meditation and free journaling about what is on our mind gives us a chance to “wear out” the thought. Further, writing it down lets our brain say to itself, “Oh okay, I don’t have to worry about this as much right now, it is written down for safe keeping and I can return to it later.”
Try guided meditation: Many of you know that I’m a bit skeptical of the value of guided meditation because I believe a breath awareness concentration practice is more likely to bring the benefits to one’s emotional and spiritual life most of us claim as the aim of our practice. There is one notable exception in my practice: When I am experiencing grief after a divorce, the death of a loved one or the loss of a job, the thought of sitting with my emotions can be overwhelming or too painful to bear. While ultimately we need to confront these emotions on the cushion, initially a guided meditation can serve as a healthy distraction letting us experience some restorative calm without rubbing our nose in the painful emotion.
Use the frustration as a line of inquiry: I love this little parlor trick of Zen teachings – something is bothering you? Practice more! It is always the answer. Using the frustration we feel with our brain doing its normal and natural brain stuff as a question to be probed can provide a solution. If we hold this inquiry in sustained introspection, we might eventually find the root causes of the irritation. The best way to get rid of a weed is to pull it out by the roots. Our thinking brain isn’t the problem but rather our aversion to it. What is causing this aggravation?
If you are practicing diligently enough to get frustrated by what is happening on the cushion, that’s a good sign. It means you have fully committed to the practice. Don’t give up! See this opportunity as a chance to grow and keep practicing no matter what.
May your practice be strong and your life go well.
Warmly,
Anthony A. Cernera, MEd
Founder and Lead Instructor
New Leaf Meditation Project